Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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