Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
