haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
my shit smells like andre
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just want to make out with him forever
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
