Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
