Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
