i just wanna soil my oats bro
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
