Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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