we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
