Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize