Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize