he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
drinking out of a sandbucket again
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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