After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
