He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
