For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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