we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
