your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you traded sex for a burrito?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
