$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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