It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
