Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
