I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
