It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
