'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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