I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
