it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
