Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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