im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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