I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
