Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
