I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
