Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
