i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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