Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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