my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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