:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
