Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
