You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
