That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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