I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
