Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
