At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
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