Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
