just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
