ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
