that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
