I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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