Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
