I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
