Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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