I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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