idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
