God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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