I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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