yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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