Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
