I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
