i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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