All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
