You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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