i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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