I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
