He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
This is my gift to your gina
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize