everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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