My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize