If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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