i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
