just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
