my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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