I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
