Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
