Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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