Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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