Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize