I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
