do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
