I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize