sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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