I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize