You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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