i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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