yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
